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Last night I had a dream that I was talking to some people and out of nowhere I just started screaming. I let out a couple of loud, angry screams. It was so random, I frightened the people I was talking to. I woke up feeling confused, I wasn't sure if I had done it in real life or not. When I realized that it was just a dream, I wished that it wasn't. I've been this weird combination of sad and angry these past few days. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm restless, then I'm lethargic. Most of the time I'm just tired of being. Not in a suicidal way, in a "What the FUCK am I doing with myself" way. I just feel so damn purposeless.


Some days all I want to do is run away from home. I wish I could just pick up and leave...go somewhere else and be a someone else. Usually, halfway through this fantasy I realize that thinking like that is a waste of time. Instead of wanting to escape, I need to make my life better. Running away won't help. It's just that sometimes I get so fed up with my life and how things are going. And fixing it seems so damn hard. I'm so unhappy right now. But sitting around sad and angry doesn't solve a damn thing. I need to take action. Soon. I can't keep on this way. I just can't.

Put That on Everything

"Put That on Everything" from Brandy's Never Say Never (1998)




I love me some Brandy :)

I ♥ Big Ass Hair!

I love Solange. I love her for her boldness, for her lyrical ability, for her quirky fashion sense and for her hair. Oh man, her hair! Since she cut off all of her hair three years ago, she fluctuates between wearing her own hair and wearing curly weaves and wigs. I drool whenever I see obnoxiously big curly hair, whether it is real or not. And I could not stop drooling when I saw pictures of Solange at her sister's HBO premiere of Life Is But A Dream. Look at this big ass hair:

Source

Seeing this picture has me thinking about getting some curly crochet braids. It's been a while and that would be a good protective style that I could leave my hair in for a couple months. Hmmm...

This picture also brought to mind a video that I watched a few weeks ago. India from MyNaturalSistas did a big curly fro tutorial that had me drooling.



The style that India did for the first half, I've done before and I love the results. But I've never picked my hair out to get more body like she did in the second half. I  know there are tons of naturals that do this to add life to their hair but for some strange reason I've just never gave it a try. I usually separate, fluff and play with my roots to try to add body. Maybe next time I'm trying to get big ass hair I'll use a pick. If I can find mine...I haven't used it since 2010 lol.

Literary Thursday...Not Quite

With my nephew staying at my house, between feeding him and changing his diapers, there hasn't been much time for me to pick up a book. The only book that I'm kinda sorta reading right now is the New York State Department of Motor Vehicles Driver's Manual. Fun reading right? lol

By summertime I should have my permit. And my license...before I'm 25 I guess lol. I've never had much of a desire to learn how to drive or own a car. Getting my license won't hurt though. I'm sure it'll come in handy.

So In Love

Since last Thursday I've had the pleasure of spending time with my nephew/godson. Never in a  million years would I expect to be so in love with such a tiny person. I've spent years being scared of babies and trying my best to avoid them. They're just so tiny and helpless, I didn't ever want to be held accountable or have such responsibility. Well, things have changed. This little boy has stolen my heart. Everything about him is beautiful, from his smile, to his yawn, to even his shrill cry lol. I don't even mind that he's peed in my hand, pooped on my leg and thrown up down my shirt. When he looks at me my heart melts and all I wanna do is make sure he is ok. I've always wanted to be a mother, so I figured I would just deal with my issues with babies when I would have my own. Now that I have my "practice baby" I am more than confident and excited about my future motherhood.

Damn, I'm growing up lol.

How could you not love that face?

Sending My Love

"Sending My Love" from Zhane's debut album, Pronounced Jah-Nay (1994)



For as long as I can remember I have been so in love with this song. Maybe one day I'll sing it...maybe lol

"Party Tendrils"

 Sooo before I start, watch this hair tutorial:




Cute right?

The last time that I had mini twists I came across this video the day after I had a dream about setting my twists on rollers or perm rods. While this coulda just been a sign that I read too many hair blogs and watch too many tutorials on Youtube, at the time I took it as a sign that I should rod my twists and take em out. Somehow I changed my mind and ended up doing something else. So I figured this time around I would actually do it. Hopefully these twists will last two weeks so we'll see by then :)

Back on Track - Mini Twists

I've been doing quite a bit with my hair lately and I need to take a break from dealing with it. I also just realized that I am very much so overdue for a trimming because my last trim was in November.
On Wednesday I washed my hair and braided it up with Cantu Shea Butter Strengthening Treatment. Then yesterday I twisted with a mixture of aloe vera gel and olive oil. Hopefully I can keep these in for a while.

 

Literary Thursday

Ok soooo I haven't started a book yet. But today I received a free copy of a Tequila Patron Drink Maker Book.

I don't remember how I got it for free but I do know that I definitely got it through Hunt4Freebies. Man, I love that website lol. Anyway, after skimming through the book I found three recipes that looked quite yummy.

 

Reading through this book made me realize that I forgot I wanted to be a bartender before. I would still love to go to school for it...someday.

Random Wednesday

I don't trust women who wear lacefronts. There's just something very untrustworthy about a fake hairline. I also find lacefronts to be pointless and kinda ugly. Just get a weave or wear a wig. We already know that ain't yo hair girl! 

Source

Tunesday: "Love & War"

Ever since the first time I heard "Love & War" by Tamar Braxton, it has been stuck in my head. It also didn't help that my sister played it nonstop for an entire week after it was released lol. A lot of people are just now learning about Tamar's musical side due to her two reality TV shows, Braxton Family Values and Tamar & Vince. For me, things are a bit different. When her debut album Tamar came out in 2000, my father bought it for me and my sister and I still play it today. Tamar has been talking about putting out new music for a while and its clear that she has been putting in work. I was thrilled when "Love & War" came out and instantly went to #1 on iTunes. I'm happy for Tamar's success and I can't wait for the album to come out next month!

Blog Revamp

I'm thinking its about time I make some changes on here. I'm still unemployed with plenty of time on my hands and plenty of things on my mind. So I figured I could start posting on a daily basis, based off of themes. At first I thought it would be corny, but why the hell not? I need to get back in the habit of writing again and I see this as the perfect way to do it.

Tunesday - I will share my favorite songs or just random songs that are stuck in my head.

Random Wednesday -  I am a verrrry random person with tons of crazy thoughts. Why not share them just for the hell of it?  

Literary Thursday - I am going to finally start reading on a regular basis. I swear I am! lol. This probably will not be a weekly posting. I'll probably sporadically post a synopsis, my reaction and possibly bits and pieces of what I find interesting.

Natural Hair Fridays - Now y'all know I lovesss me some natural hair! lol. Every week I am going to post a blog, picture or video of some gorgeous curly hair. I'll also be posting styles I'd like to try in the future.


This is quite a commitment. However, I know I can do it. I know that I need to do it. To keep myself stimulated and to start something and actually pull through with it. Knowing me, its gonna be some work for me to keep this up. I only plan to keep this going until I have a full time job and amp up my social life. I might even keep it going or change it up when that happens. Who knows though? We'll see :)

Fluffy Flat Twist Out

First off, watch this hair porn:



The other day I came across this video and after I wiped the drool from my chin, I decided I wanted a flat-twist out as my next style. I was in love with flat-twist outs for a good minute before so I'm pretty secure with knowing the outcome. This time was a bit different because instead of having damp or stretched hair, my hair was verrrry stretched. I basically had a blowout. After my satin strip braidout, I braided my hair again regularly, wore a braidout, then I braided my hair up again with the ribbons. I didn't re-wet my hair so when I took the ribbons out, my hair was damn near straight, fluffy and big as hell.

I flat twisted my hair with Tresemme Flawless Curls Lotion Creme, my pink EcoStyler gel and some olive oil. The parts of my twists that lay flat on my head seemed fine but I knew that my ends probably wouldn't hold a curl because of just how stretched my hair was. So I did bantu knots with the ends of my twists to make sure I'd have some type of curl lol. I kept my hair twisted for a day before I took them down. Here's the look:

No, my hair isn't ashy. The pic is lightened a bit lol.

Satin Strip Braidout

A long time ago I came across a YouTube video of someone doing a braidout with satin strips. I thought that that was a great idea for stretching hair and to get it wavy. So I figured I would try it out, seeing as though I love regular ole braidouts on their own. I had a few hair ribbons so I decided to just use those. I did my usual 10 braids on freshly washed hair. I used Tresemme Flawless Curls Lotion Creme and olive oil. It's a pretty simple process. You just use your hair as the third piece in the braid, with the two pieces of ribbon as the other two.

You can do it on damp or dry hair and your hair could be straight or curly - it really doesn't matter. I tried to find one comprehensive video from a natural braiding her hair damp with the take down. Ummm, I didn't lol. So here's an explanation of how to do it from a natural with dry, stretched hair:



Anddd here's a takedown video from a natural. She did it on damp hair but she had way more braids than I did. My results were very similar to hers.




 My results:

This picture doesn't do it justice

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I will definitely be trying this again. My hair was stretched and I liked the definition that I got. I wanna see how it will come out with gel, on stretched hair and on blow dried hair as well. I'll probably use an old scarf to make strips instead of using ribbon though. We'll see :)

'As I Am' Hair Products - Kinda Sorta Review

I received a free sample package from As I Am all the way back in October. I received ten out of their eleven product samples and was extremely excited to try them all out.



It's been months and I have sporadically been trying out these products. And to be completely honest, I don't remember how I felt about them and I have no intentions of digging in my brain. Instead, I'll briefly talk about my experience with the Moisture Milk and Smoothing Gel.

The Moisture Milk smelled like cake batter! I was so tempted to eat it lol. Instead, I used it pretty generously while I braided up my hair. I used the Smoothing Gel on top and I liked the way these products felt together. I did my regular 10 braids, as usual. The next day, my hair was soft and shiny, it had body and I was in love. My sister kept staring at my hair and my mother told me my hair looked like when I do my curly crochet braids. I loved how as the days went on, my hair got bigger and bigger and it still had definition to it. I would loooove to buy both of these products in the future.

Initial take down

Next day

 

It grew :)

 

My first EVER dry twistout. It may not look like much, but trust me, it was an accomplishment lol.

Out of all the products I still have the Leave in Conditioner and Curling Jelly because I really would like to use them for a wash and go. I am waiting for warmer months because I don't want to do the winter version of a wash and go.

'Nothing But' Hair Products Review

A few weeks ago I received a free sample package of Nothing But products. The sample included the Clarifying Shampoo, Pure Pudding, Curl Sealer, Intense Healing Mask and the Cleansing Conditioner. I pretty excited because I received 5 out of their 7 products. My first thought was to do a product review since I had most of the products from the line. But if you've noticed, I don't do real product reviews. I never claimed to be a hair blog so most of the time I give a brief description instead of an in-depth review. I guess I can finally give a real review a shot...I guess lol.

Clarifying Shampoo:

Company's Description -  Your journey to a head full of soft bouncy curls or flirty twists starts with this essential first step. Sofn’free GroHealthy’s Clarifying Shampoo contains nothing but honest ingredients that gently remove deep-down dirt and buildup. Use 2-3 times a month and always follow up with a deep conditioner. We strongly recommend Nothing But Intense Healing Mask or Nothing But Cleansing Conditioner.
    • Dissolves buildup
    • Sulfate-free
    • Safe for color-treated hair

My Thoughts - It smells kinda minty, almost tingly. It's definitely a clarifying shampoo. My hair felt very clean but not stripped. One wash is definitely enough. I can see why the instructions say to use once or twice a month. Any more would be too much.

Intense Healing Mask: 
 
Company's Description - Be honest. You’ve noticed that your hair is thinner, breaks easily and what’s with all the shedding? Time for Sofn’free GroHealthy’s Intense Healing Mask. Made with nothing but simple ingredients, it penetrates deeply to repair, soothe and smooth damaged, brittle hair.  In no time, your curls will bounce back with renewed health and vigor.
    • Repairs weak, fragile hair
    • Real help for transitioning

My Thoughts - I used this after the shampoo as a deep conditioner. My first reaction was to the scent. It smells like lemon...kinda like a cleaning product lol. As if Lemon Heads and Pledge were mixed together lol. It had a bit if slip but not enough for my liking. It could've been that there wasn't enough in the packet. My hair did feel nice afterwards though.

Pure Pudding:
 
Company's Description -  Like things wild? Or is tame more your style? Get nothing but styling versatility and control with no hardness or crunch. This luxurious styling conditioner lets you do everything from create wash ‘n wear looks to two-strand twists.
    • Defines curls
    • Elongates waves
    • Enhances coils
    • No hardness or crunch

My Thoughts -  It was lemony just like the mask. It was thick and kinda sticky going on. I used it with the Curl Sealer so I'm not sure about it own its own.

Curl Sealer:
 
Company's Description - Set your hair free from frizz, dullness and other foolishness with Sofn’free GroHealthy’s Curl Sealer. Made from nothing but honest ingredients and natural shine enhancers, it instantly adds and seals in moisture, leaving you with a head full of oh-so-gorgeous, radiantly shiny curls.
    • Quickly seals in moisture
    • Adds shine & smooths frizz
    • Gives longer-lasting curl definition

My Thoughts - It was lemony of course and it felt a little sticky going on. I could tell it would stretch out my curls though. I felt like using it with the pudding was a good combination.

Cleansing Conditioner:

 
Company's Description - It’s the honest-to-goodness truth: The minute you get your curls just right, it’s time to shampoo and start over. But with Sofn’free GroHealthy’s Cleansing Conditioner (Co-Wash) you don’t have to. Using nothing but simple ingredients, it leaves your hair perfectly conditioned and beautifully clean. Yes, at the same time.

    • Cleans without suds
    • Won’t strip hair
    • Gentle enough to use every day
    • Use alone or after our Clarifying Shampoo

My Thoughts - After almost two weeks I finally washed my hair. It wasn't too dirty so I figured I could get away with a co-wash. The product smelled just like the others in the line. It didn't have much slip and there wasn't enough in the packet for my hair so I had to use my Tresemme Naturals on top of it. When I  rinsed out my hair, it felt clean and didn't feel stripped. My curls were popping but it could've easily been because of my Tresemme Naturals.


Overall Outcome -  I used the Pudding and Sealer as I did my twist and curl. I decided to re-do this style, the same way as before. I ended up with fluffy, stretched curls. I had a bit of shine but not a whole lot.  I liked the way my hair felt, it was really soft and bouncy. I would try the pudding and sealer again. I'm not big on twistouts but I think it would be a good product to try for it because of the stretch it gives. I like that this company claims not to have any petrolatum, mineral oil, sulfates, parabens, colorants or phthalates. I didn't list the ingredients but you can visit their website for all that info. The products are reasonably priced so maybe someday in the future I'll try them out again. Here's some pictures:

 .

Initial takedown

Looking kinda sexy lol

Next day hair

Styled 2 days later

I've been a stranger...forgive me.

It feels like its been forever since I wrote a blog. Not having a computer has been frustrating and I've been relying on my phone for everything. And since I really don't like blogging from my phone, I just stopped altogether. There's been quite a few interesting things that have happened over the past month. So here is a very quick, mostly vague rundown:

• I got a new phone. YAY!! Then it broke. WOMP WOMP WOMP. I've since received a replacement :) 
• Things were hectic at my house for a while. Now there's a bit of peace.
• I've been kinda depressed about being unemployed but recently I've been feeling much better because...
• We still don't have a computer but a dear friend of mine "forced" me to borrow his laptop. I am beyond grateful to him. I seriously appreciate my friends that actually give a shit and want me to succeed. He knows just how necessary it is to have a computer when you're on a job hunt.  I've only had this laptop for two days but I've already applied to twenty something jobs. Yes, I am ON IT!
• I've played with my hair quite a bit. Blogs to follow...