May 17, 2011

Reasons Why I Suck

So the other day I had a meeting with one of my professors to discuss some issues I was having with my group members. Towards the end of the discussion she told me that she saw that I was bright and had so much potential and instead of giving my best I choose to give a subpar performance. I get by being a B student without trying but if I would actually put in effort I would be an A student. She completely read me! All I could do was nod and agree because she was dead on...creepy! lmaoo It's crazy cuz I have had a few people tell me that they saw so much potential in me, that I'm brilliant and smart and all that and I just shrug it off. When the truth is they are all right. I've been giving the minimum amount of work required to pass and somehow I end up with As and Bs. Its not like I'm bragging, trust me I definitely am not. As a matter of fact this is the opposite. There isn't anything cute about not living up to your potential, getting  by by giving shitty performances. Imagine how great I would be if I actually tried...

Also, this semester I have been soooo off. Not committed at all. Not devoted. I don't know where my head has been but it hasn't been here at New Paltz. I've been fucking up all around smh. And I honestly don't have an excuse other than the fact that my focus is off and my head wasn't in it. I'm kinda scared to see what my grades are gonna be.

But anyway, I'm gonna have to take this summer to refocus, regroup and reevaluate how I'm running my life. Obviously, its not in a fulfilling manner so I need to reassess and rework shit out. I'm up for the challenge though. I can't continue to live like this. Unhappy, watching life pass me by, not being in full control like I can be. Like I said before, guess I'm just a work in progress...

1 comment:

Sheena said...

To change one's life:
1. Start immediately.
2. Do it flamboyantly.
3. No exceptions.

I'm a personal quest too and this quote was so direct and perfect. I thought you might get something from it.