Earlier today a friend mentioned to me that she wanted to lose 10 pounds and I nonchalantly mentioned my desire to lose 80 pounds. She kept talking then stopped and said "WHAT?!?!?" According to her I look fine and would look funny if I lost too much weight. While this was flattering, its far from the truth. I love my curves and I feel as though my body fits me BUT I have gained entirely too much weight. At my smallest I was around 180 and that size wasn't too small for me. I set my goal to around that weight because at that size I still was shapely. I don't want to be skinny. I just don't wanna be fat anymore. Deadass. When I say I'm fat my friends are like "oh noo girl you're just fine, what you talking about?" But the thing is all they're doing is looking at me. I have to BE me, constantly, all day, everyday. And when I say I need to lose weight, shit I fucking mean it! It doesn't help me if you avoid the issue and sugarcoat shit. I don't want that. I am overweight. I know and accept that and strangely the people around me can't quite seem to do the same. Whatever....
Also I'm slightly pissed because as soon as I started working out on a regular basis I injured my knee -__- I've been scared to go back to the gym because I still don't know the status of my knee. At times it hurts and becomes stiff. I don't wanna risk any further damage. But shit I'm losing out on precious time. That's cool though, I said there's no rush right? I just gotta take my time...
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