I am not approachable. I know this. I've written about it More. Than. Once.
A couple of weeks ago while I was home during break, my cousin came over and surprised me. When he came in I was on the phone with a friend so I hung up and said "bye boo." Now if you know me, you know that I throw around boo, baby, lover, love etc. when I'm talking to close friends/family. But since he would have no way of knowing this (we just got re-acquainted over the summer...long story lol) he assumed that I was talking to a male interest. I quickly shut down that notion, stating that I don't even talk to boys. And he was like, "Yeah I know, cuz you keep it that way." And you know what? He's right. I'm alone completely by choice. It's not that I don't want to get to know men or date anyone, because I do. It is more because of the fact that I don't allow for situations to come up. I don't look approachable, which probably scares off dudes, I don't "put myself out there," and I don't put much effort into trying to meet new people. If I don't put out the energy or vibes that say "hey I'm open and friendly, oh and I won't cut you" no one will ever wanna talk to me. I know that I am responsible for the energy that surrounds me. If I don't ever put out the energy that I am actually open and available, nothing will ever change.
I guess I just need to figure out how to go about doing that.
Part III ? We'll see...
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