March 25, 2009

Never Been Kissed.....Like Seriously lol

I'm single. Usually this isn't a problem because I'm not particularly concerned with finding a man. But the other day I had a conversation that got me thinking. Somehow the topic of kissing came up. Then I realized, wow I've only ever kissed one person. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, I'm young and I've only been in one relationship so I guess that makes sense. But the longer I think about it the less it makes sense to me. The fact that I've only had one boyfriend doesn't bother me, its the fact that I don't ever meet new people that does. Like ever. Nah seriously, EVER!

But anyway I find it very disconcerting that I've been single since January 08 (Technically June 07 but that's a story for another time lol). Anyway, it doesn't bother me that I haven't had a boyfriend in this time, it's the fact that I haven't met anyone to at least be interested in during this time.

I think its obvious why I never meet anyone. People say I don't put myself out there. But I don't like that term. I don't feel like I have to do or say certain things to get noticed. Why can't I be myself and someone notice me anyway? Yeah right. I'm not shy but I can be in certain situations, but then I have my moments when I speak up.

I've heard from quite few people that I don't look approachable and I walk around looking mean. I can't disagree with them because I know I don't walk around smiling cuz that just aint me. I don't walk around all merry and jolly and shit and I don't know how to be in between.

I'm not complaining about being alone, I just feel like if I never meet anyone I will end up alone. Also its nice to meet new people which I have difficulty doing on my own. Someone recently told me that I never meet anyone new because I don't go to parties, I don't talk to guys, and I don't do anything that could possibly lead to anything. After he said this, I had to assess myself. It's true that I don't go out but why does it have to be a party I go to in order to meet someone? But if I don't get out much or take the initiative when I see someone I'm interested in, then I guess it'll just stay this way.

For now anyway.

1 comment:

Quiet Storm said...

You have plenty of time, and don't forget everything happens for a reason. I'm a little older than you and we've experienced different things but both really only had one relationship. And for us to be two young, attractive, intelligent females it seems like we shouldn't be alone. But neither one of us knows what God has in store for us or what He could be preparing us for. So just wait, it won't always be like this.