But anyway I find it very disconcerting that I've been single since January 08 (Technically June 07 but that's a story for another time lol). Anyway, it doesn't bother me that I haven't had a boyfriend in this time, it's the fact that I haven't met anyone to at least be interested in during this time.
I think its obvious why I never meet anyone. People say I don't put myself out there. But I don't like that term. I don't feel like I have to do or say certain things to get noticed. Why can't I be myself and someone notice me anyway? Yeah right. I'm not shy but I can be in certain situations, but then I have my moments when I speak up.
I've heard from quite few people that I don't look approachable and I walk around looking mean. I can't disagree with them because I know I don't walk around smiling cuz that just aint me. I don't walk around all merry and jolly and shit and I don't know how to be in between.
I'm not complaining about being alone, I just feel like if I never meet anyone I will end up alone. Also its nice to meet new people which I have difficulty doing on my own. Someone recently told me that I never meet anyone new because I don't go to parties, I don't talk to guys, and I don't do anything that could possibly lead to anything. After he said this, I had to assess myself. It's true that I don't go out but why does it have to be a party I go to in order to meet someone? But if I don't get out much or take the initiative when I see someone I'm interested in, then I guess it'll just stay this way.
For now anyway.