I'm not approachable?

I wrote this in November but never posted it.

So I'm not approachable. I get it. I know this, I'm not exactly sure how to change that. I feel like I am who I am - take me as is. Maybe that's what is stifling my growth. But I like me. I like who I'm becoming, I'm not like how I used to be. But at the same time I can't help but question why is it that no one wants me? Ok maybe I can rephrase that. Why do I fee like no one wants me? So one of my friends said that I don't look easy - easy to talk to, easy to get in bed - whatever, it really doesn't matter which.  I guess I look like a hassle - its too much of an obstacle to get to me. That's not true. No I'm not easy to get to bed, I'm definitely not. But I'm easy to talk to, or maybe I think I am. I can be harsh of course but that depends on my mood...ugh idk how to be approachable! That's not me. Plus I'm antisocial and I don't like people. But I do. I like talking to people, hanging out and all that, I really do....kinda...maybe a lil bit. Shit I don't even know anymore.

Even if I'm not easy/I don't look easy why aren't there any guys up for a challenge? Maybe no one is interested in who I am if they don't think they can get something out of me so they don't even try. How sad is that? Maybe its a good thing. Maybe I need someone up to a challenge. Yeah I can definitely be a challenge...a huge one lol. Maybe that's what I have to work on. But why should I have to? I like me...complications and all.

Ehh, whatever. Guess I'll continue feeling this way...