October 11, 2011

It's Ok :)

I spent a good chunk of my day alone. I just didn't feel like interacting with people. While sitting alone in a public area I did some reading and the work that went with it. I was listening to some of my favorite music and the sun shined on my face. I smiled ridiculously hard. I didn't care who saw. A couple of hours later I was walking through campus trying to find something to eat and a song I love came on. I had the urge to kick off my shoes, take of my clothes, lift up my hands and dance in the sunlight. But of course I didn't. Its not all that socially acceptable to just be dancing outside in your underwear. But what I found interesting was that while I was feeling so good and resisting the urge to dance, I noticed something about myself. Most of the time I try to mask how I'm feeling and I don't like to publicly show my happy moments. Even if its simply smiling and clapping when I'm enjoying myself at a show. There's something wrong with that.

I randomly came across this quote today when I was searching for something totally irrelevant to it lol.
I do way more complaining than appreciating. I have plenty of beautiful things in my life yet I can't see past my problems long enough to recognize them. Just the other day I felt like I had no joy; I was walking around like a zombie, detached from the world. I do have joy. I just needed to recognize that its within me. And there's nothing wrong with me showing it. It's actually a great feeling :)

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