October 4, 2011

Cop Out

When it comes to the opposite sex, most of the time I am completely lost. I haven't had to interact with a dude in a very long time and sometimes I feel as though I don't even know what to do or say in certain situations. When it comes to liking people, I am the absolute worst at it. I don't allow myself to crush on people and when I do, I don't ever tell that person how I feel. Part of it is out of fear of rejection while the other part is that most of the time, I don't want to become a part of that person's life. I don't see how I could fit and I don't try to. Now I know this sounds like the most punk-like behavior but what is wrong with liking someone from afar?

Recently I have discovered that I kinda sorta like someone, maybe just a little bit....only on Tuesdays. My friends say that I am a pussy for not approaching him and saying something. But if I don't get a clear sign that someone likes me, I don't do anything with the situation. My friends are like but won't you have the "what ifs" in the back of your mind if you never say anything? And my answer is yes. Of course I will. I have a million what ifs from "what if I woulda ordered a turkey sandwich instead of salami" or "what if I had wore my red shirt instead of purple." I have the most trivial what ifs ever and if I add "what if I woulda told him" to it, it wont make much of a difference. I over-think every damn thing and this would be just one more thing added to my list. Maybe this is me just being a pussy or extra cautious. Who knows. But if the opportunity does not present itself, I wont try to create one. That's just how I operate. I am not a go getter, its just not in my nature. I know this sounds like a cop out but, shit, maybe it just is.

I've been playing 'Fallin' by Rochelle Jordan nonstop lately. I'm completely in love with this song and it is a perfect crush song ♥

04 Fallin by rochelle jordan rojo

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