I just realized just how much of an angry person I am. It's strange to me because I've always thought of myself as a happy, optimistic person. But I'm learning that this isn't the case. A while ago my sister said I was pessimistic but I brushed it off by claiming that I'm just realistic. And I truly think that I do just like to look at things from all perspectives, even the negative ones. This is important because in this world nothing is guaranteed and its sad but no one really gives a damn about you. Does this sound angry? I know I'm a pretty serious person, I take almost everything seriously even when I really don't need to.
Sometimes I feel like I have no joy, no reason to even be happy. I mean I'm always laughing, and I have a tendency to smile when I talk. But those are just external. I have people that love me, my situation right now isn't horrible. I don't have to worry about my next meal, I have clothes to wear and I have a place to sleep. Of course I have some things to worry about but stressing is pointless to me. So what the hell is going on?
Has all the shit I been through in life left me void of happiness and a lack of sympathy for others? I sure hope not.
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