As I Am Wash & Go

   
I love this video because her hair pattern is very similar to mine and it came out so cute! I used this combo before with the samples I received and fell in love.  That leave in had my hair singing. I recently decided to finalllllyyyy purchase these products since they were on sale. I can't wait to try them again! :)

Any Time Any Place

Janet Jackson's "Any Time Any Place" from janet. (1994)

Album Version

Stop Shrinking

I haven't written a poem in over 2 years. I haven't recorded a video of me singing in over a year. I haven't allowed my creativity to flow in so long, I'm starting to wonder if its something that is natural to me or something that I used to force. Or maybe I've been in hiding, suppressing my desires to be creative, afraid of what might surface. Yeah, probably that one…that sounds like typical Shatera behavior smh. 

I miss me. I've been so caught up in my own sad bubble that I've neglected to take care of my soul. I need so much more than what I give myself, than what I allow myself to do. It's like I'm constantly wondering, "when will I get my confidence back?" And I'm tired. Tired of feeling like blah, tired of being in my depressing ass house, and tired of neglecting my spirit. I need to be free. And the only way I can do that is to let go. Let go of my fears.

You wanna know a secret? My biggest fear is that if I allow myself to be free, I'm gonna be really great at whatever it is that I do with my creativity. What kind of bullshit is that? To be completely honest, I think I'm brilliant. Its sooo hard for me to say things like that because I like staying humble. But I'm humble to a fault. I shouldn't be so modest that it comes off as me being insecure. I need to own my greatness. Its there, I just have to nurture it. 

So the question is how? The first step was me acknowledging it. The second…a bold act? Or maybe just a little one? See, just that quick I'm already shrinking myself. Smh. How about this...I'll figure out what my next step is, own it and come back with it. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

 

Stay Ready

Jhene Aiko's "Stay Ready (What a Life)" ft. Kendrick Lamar from Sail Out (2013)

Eco Styler Gel Braidout

Why is her hair so damn gorgeous? Mannnnn.

I definitely need to learn how to cornrow. I love braidouts and I would like to try it out this way.

We Gon' Love Tonite

Calvin Richardson's "We Gon' Love Tonite" (2014)

I keep my TV on MusicChoice's R&B Soul station in the morning while I'm getting ready for work. A few weeks ago, this song came on and I stopped everything I was doing. I was so distracted, but in a good way. I love Calvin's voice and I'm really excited that he has a new project coming out soon :)

almost 7 years...

I know it doesn't define me. I know it doesn’t mean I'm unlovable. It doesn’t mean I'm damaged. But sometimes, it feels that way. The thing is, I know exactly why I'm still single. You can't meet someone if you don't make yourself available. I just wasn't ready to share myself with someone in that way. But lately I've been thinking...

It's time. 

A few weeks ago I was looking through old photo albums and there were a lot of pictures with me and my ex. It made me a little emotional. Of course I don't miss him, that situation is long gone and dead. I just miss having a him. Someone who could get to know me intimately. Someone I could have late night conversations with. Someone who wants to be around me and enjoys my company. Someone to make me smile. Someone to encourage me.

I'm 24 and I've never dated. I've only ever had one boyfriend. I've had a few instances where I met guys but nothing ever stuck. I'm tired of keeping all my awesomeness to myself. I need to have my relationship cherry popped.

I'm not saying I'm ready. But I am open to the possibility. 




I've talked about this. subject. so. many. damn. times. already.

WBLS's R&B Fest

Last Sunday I went to WBLS's 6th annual Summerstage R&B Fest. I had such a great time last year, I was excited to come back. They changed it up a bit this year, instead of it being from 4-7PM it was from 7-10PM. Also, there were less acts than last year. First, the show started with Jon B. He sang all of his popular songs and a couple that I didn't know. Throughout his set he made a few mentions of him being the "first," coming before Justin Timberlake and Robin Thicke. I just kept thinking, "noooo what about Michael Mcdonald and Bobby Caldwell?" lmao. But I enjoyed his set. After that, JoiStarr performed. She's a My Block Records artist and she's also Warryn Campbell's sister. Cool. Her vocals were on point and when she was finished, I actually wanted to hear more. That's a good look lol. After that, Erica Campbell came out for a surprise performance. I hate her cuz she's so damn good and she always makes me wanna cry. Damn you Erica! After her short set, Tank came out to say hi and he sang a couple of lines from "Maybe I Deserve." The crowd went crazy, completely forgot about their Jesus moment 5 seconds beforehand. It was quite hilarious. But that man is sexy as hell. I get it. 

After all the women lost their panties, Dave Hollister came out. It was his birthday and I could tell that we were in for something special. He sang a few of his popular songs then he started "Can't Stay." I got excited because I looove this song. The backgrounds started and he abruptly stopped and said that he wasn't feeling it and that he wanted to sing something else. So he started a gospel song and gave his testimony. He said that he had 6 years clean from a 15 yr alcohol addiction and 10 year cocaine habit. I was disappointed that he wasn't singing my song but I didn't mind him taking us to church. I could tell that it was in his spirit to share his story. Sometimes you just gotta do what you feel. And it worked.

After we finished our second church service of the night, Monifah came out to say hello then ran off the stage. I was hoping I'd get a hum out of her or something, but no. She just mentioned her new single, "The Other Side" and left the stage.

Then Christopher Williams came out and we all revisited the New Jack Swing era for 5 minutes. He announced that he has new music coming out in January. I'm realllly curious as to what it's going to sound like, and if anyone is going to buy it….I guess we'll find out. After our trip down memory lane, Jeff Redd came out and sang like a minute of his song, "You Called and Told Me." That is my jam! I was sad he was just stopping by briefly. He could've finished the song :(

I wasn't sad for much longer though. After what felt like 20 minutes of Lenny Green talking and stalling, finally Musiq came out. And I enjoyed singing along and watching the crowd's excitement but honestly, he didn't wow me. He didn't make me want to see him live again. I enjoyed him, but I wouldn't pay for him. Now I know.  Overall though, I had a really good time and this was my first time enjoying a concert alone. It was a little weird, but I survived it lol


Since Dave didn't get a chance to sing my song, I had to find it to listen to it.

Dave Hollister's "Can't Stay" from Ghetto Hymns (2000)


 

Hair Update

These past few months I haven't done too much with my hair. Here's a few memorable moments from January-August.

I straightened my hair for my birthday in March.

Flexi Rod Sets on straightened hair

 

Kinky Twists & Marley/Havana Twists 

 

Finger Coil Out (about 16-20 coils)

 

Crochet braids with Rast Afri Dream Romance Curl 

 

  

Andddd that's it :)

Eachhoureachsecondeachminuteeachday:Of My Life

Maxwell's "Eachhoureachsecondeachminuteeachday:Of My Life" from Embrya (1998)

 

 

 

Ummm, I had no idea he shot a video for this song. I'm glad I didn't...it's kinda creepy lmao. I still love him though.