May 3, 2009


I'm 19, which is pretty damn young. There's no need for me to keep stressing about being single. But then again its not me being single, its me being alone. I know I'm not alone because I have friends and family that I know love me. So I think the problem is the physical aspect of it. NOT SEXUAL, physical. Having somebody physically there to see, touch, talk, and all that shit. Idk, I don't think I'm lonely, I just think I need someone to share with. Idk, I'm still a baby so I aint stressing it. I just can't help but miss having someone around. Plus I know I may come off hard or weird to some people but I'm really harmless. I wish people would see that...but then again maybe its me thats putting out that image. I can't help the fact that I walk around looking like the world is about to end. I just don't know how to change that. Wait, lemme stop there. There's the problem. But how the hell am I supposed to randomly start looking approachable? If I walk around smiling people are gonna think I'm crazy or something. I just dont know....

But I am sick of talking about my lack of love life...maybe it's just on my mind. But why? A relationship cannot and will not validate me. I know this'd just be nice to be seen in that way. To have someone to want to be around me. Saying this makes me a lil sad actually. Cuz I have people that want to be around me - my family and friends. And I seriously appreciate that. But I want something that they can't give me. I want to be appreciated in a different way. Damn, this sounds like a a quest for validation. I don't like it, thats not me. I don't like being vulnerable, soooo not a good look lol.
Unfortunately....I'll be back on this topic later lol

No comments: