Crochet Braids - Marley Hair Twistout

When I took out my Marley/Senegalese twists back in June, I looked at the hair and decided that I would keep it and recycle it to use for crochet braids. I got this idea from VeePeeJay after coming across this photo a while back:

Cute right?

So I figured re-using my hair made sense. It would be a quick install and cute style. And I was right. It took me less than 3 hours from start to finish. It took me a few days to get used to it, but it has definitely grown on me.

It's definitely a different look for me, but I like it! :)

Don't Say No, Just Say Yes

Avant's "Don't Say No, Just Say Yes" from Ecstasy (2002)

Destination

10.10.14

When you know you have a purpose in life, 

but you constantly ignore it.

When you feel completely unfulfilled and empty.

Like you're floating around, purposeless.

When you wake up every morning wondering,

when will I get the chance to LIVE?

When you arrive at work and realize that you don't belong,

you will NEVER belong, but you must stay for a paycheck.

When you go to bed every night feeling lonely, sad and unused

You're empty. Nothing pouring into you, nothing coming out of you.

So why are you here?

You know why. You have to know right?

That’s what everyone tells you.

You're a writer. You're creative.

You know that this is true.

So what do you do about it?

Stay miserable and unfed?

When you know you can do something greater, much greater than this.

When you know that you can be fed, poured into, filled up…if you leave.

The only thing is, to where?

Time to find a destination.

Bad Girls

 Solange's "Bad Girls (Verdine Version)" from True (2012)



I love me some Solange :)

Braid & Curl

I've never seen a braid & curl done like this. So cute!



I've got to try this :)

We Gon' Love Tonite...Again lol

Calvin Richardson's "We Gon' Love Tonite" from I Am Calvin (2014)




Mmmm yes :)

All About You

Yes. Hilary Duff. Just Yes.

I'm excited about her having new music and I just loveeeee grownup Hilary! :)

"All About You" (2014)

I Fell In Love!

I FINALLY had theeeee best wash & go everrrr!!!! Feel the excitement??? lmao

I used As I Am Leave In & Curling Jelly with some coconut castor oil. I went to bed with wet hair and when I woke up it was still damp. Like the video I posted, I used a blow dryer on low to dry and stretch out my hair. Here's the pics:

1/4 of the way through I KNEW it was gonna be great! :)

Day 1 :)

Look at those curls!

Day 3 hair is always the best :)

I finally figured out my wash & go. Yay!

Alone

I've been MIA lately. Please forgive me. There's been a lot of things going on in my life recently and it has become difficult for me to write. It's not because I don't have anything to say. It's mostly due to a lack of motivation combined with my sadness. In the past few months my family has really been through it. First, my uncle passed away, then 3 months later, my aunt/his sister passed away also. That is A LOT in a short time period. So my emotions have been all over the place. I'm sad, then I'm angry, then I'm extra sensitive and irritable, its goes in cycles. But these past few days, I've just been feeling...alone. Some days I find it hard to believe that anyone actually gives a shit about me and that makes me feel extremely sad and lonely. I want to say that it is all in my head, but other than my sister, I'm unsure of who I really can depend on. I know that I don't reach out to people as much as I should, I take responsibility for that. That is something that I definitely need to work on. But it still doesn't take away from how I've been feeling. I didn't want to write a drawn out, depressing ass post. But how I feel is how I feel. And I NEED to get this out. After having a really shitty day today, I came home and decided to, of all things, sing lol.

Soooo here's a video of me singing Maxwell's "Lonely's The Only Company" from Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite (1996)

As I Am Wash & Go

   
I love this video because her hair pattern is very similar to mine and it came out so cute! I used this combo before with the samples I received and fell in love.  That leave in had my hair singing. I recently decided to finalllllyyyy purchase these products since they were on sale. I can't wait to try them again! :)

Any Time Any Place

Janet Jackson's "Any Time Any Place" from janet. (1994)

Album Version

Stop Shrinking

I haven't written a poem in over 2 years. I haven't recorded a video of me singing in over a year. I haven't allowed my creativity to flow in so long, I'm starting to wonder if its something that is natural to me or something that I used to force. Or maybe I've been in hiding, suppressing my desires to be creative, afraid of what might surface. Yeah, probably that one…that sounds like typical Shatera behavior smh. 

I miss me. I've been so caught up in my own sad bubble that I've neglected to take care of my soul. I need so much more than what I give myself, than what I allow myself to do. It's like I'm constantly wondering, "when will I get my confidence back?" And I'm tired. Tired of feeling like blah, tired of being in my depressing ass house, and tired of neglecting my spirit. I need to be free. And the only way I can do that is to let go. Let go of my fears.

You wanna know a secret? My biggest fear is that if I allow myself to be free, I'm gonna be really great at whatever it is that I do with my creativity. What kind of bullshit is that? To be completely honest, I think I'm brilliant. Its sooo hard for me to say things like that because I like staying humble. But I'm humble to a fault. I shouldn't be so modest that it comes off as me being insecure. I need to own my greatness. Its there, I just have to nurture it. 

So the question is how? The first step was me acknowledging it. The second…a bold act? Or maybe just a little one? See, just that quick I'm already shrinking myself. Smh. How about this...I'll figure out what my next step is, own it and come back with it. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

 

Stay Ready

Jhene Aiko's "Stay Ready (What a Life)" ft. Kendrick Lamar from Sail Out (2013)

Eco Styler Gel Braidout

Why is her hair so damn gorgeous? Mannnnn.

I definitely need to learn how to cornrow. I love braidouts and I would like to try it out this way.

We Gon' Love Tonite

Calvin Richardson's "We Gon' Love Tonite" (2014)

I keep my TV on MusicChoice's R&B Soul station in the morning while I'm getting ready for work. A few weeks ago, this song came on and I stopped everything I was doing. I was so distracted, but in a good way. I love Calvin's voice and I'm really excited that he has a new project coming out soon :)

almost 7 years...

I know it doesn't define me. I know it doesn’t mean I'm unlovable. It doesn’t mean I'm damaged. But sometimes, it feels that way. The thing is, I know exactly why I'm still single. You can't meet someone if you don't make yourself available. I just wasn't ready to share myself with someone in that way. But lately I've been thinking...

It's time. 

A few weeks ago I was looking through old photo albums and there were a lot of pictures with me and my ex. It made me a little emotional. Of course I don't miss him, that situation is long gone and dead. I just miss having a him. Someone who could get to know me intimately. Someone I could have late night conversations with. Someone who wants to be around me and enjoys my company. Someone to make me smile. Someone to encourage me.

I'm 24 and I've never dated. I've only ever had one boyfriend. I've had a few instances where I met guys but nothing ever stuck. I'm tired of keeping all my awesomeness to myself. I need to have my relationship cherry popped.

I'm not saying I'm ready. But I am open to the possibility. 




I've talked about this. subject. so. many. damn. times. already.

WBLS's R&B Fest

Last Sunday I went to WBLS's 6th annual Summerstage R&B Fest. I had such a great time last year, I was excited to come back. They changed it up a bit this year, instead of it being from 4-7PM it was from 7-10PM. Also, there were less acts than last year. First, the show started with Jon B. He sang all of his popular songs and a couple that I didn't know. Throughout his set he made a few mentions of him being the "first," coming before Justin Timberlake and Robin Thicke. I just kept thinking, "noooo what about Michael Mcdonald and Bobby Caldwell?" lmao. But I enjoyed his set. After that, JoiStarr performed. She's a My Block Records artist and she's also Warryn Campbell's sister. Cool. Her vocals were on point and when she was finished, I actually wanted to hear more. That's a good look lol. After that, Erica Campbell came out for a surprise performance. I hate her cuz she's so damn good and she always makes me wanna cry. Damn you Erica! After her short set, Tank came out to say hi and he sang a couple of lines from "Maybe I Deserve." The crowd went crazy, completely forgot about their Jesus moment 5 seconds beforehand. It was quite hilarious. But that man is sexy as hell. I get it. 

After all the women lost their panties, Dave Hollister came out. It was his birthday and I could tell that we were in for something special. He sang a few of his popular songs then he started "Can't Stay." I got excited because I looove this song. The backgrounds started and he abruptly stopped and said that he wasn't feeling it and that he wanted to sing something else. So he started a gospel song and gave his testimony. He said that he had 6 years clean from a 15 yr alcohol addiction and 10 year cocaine habit. I was disappointed that he wasn't singing my song but I didn't mind him taking us to church. I could tell that it was in his spirit to share his story. Sometimes you just gotta do what you feel. And it worked.

After we finished our second church service of the night, Monifah came out to say hello then ran off the stage. I was hoping I'd get a hum out of her or something, but no. She just mentioned her new single, "The Other Side" and left the stage.

Then Christopher Williams came out and we all revisited the New Jack Swing era for 5 minutes. He announced that he has new music coming out in January. I'm realllly curious as to what it's going to sound like, and if anyone is going to buy it….I guess we'll find out. After our trip down memory lane, Jeff Redd came out and sang like a minute of his song, "You Called and Told Me." That is my jam! I was sad he was just stopping by briefly. He could've finished the song :(

I wasn't sad for much longer though. After what felt like 20 minutes of Lenny Green talking and stalling, finally Musiq came out. And I enjoyed singing along and watching the crowd's excitement but honestly, he didn't wow me. He didn't make me want to see him live again. I enjoyed him, but I wouldn't pay for him. Now I know.  Overall though, I had a really good time and this was my first time enjoying a concert alone. It was a little weird, but I survived it lol


Since Dave didn't get a chance to sing my song, I had to find it to listen to it.

Dave Hollister's "Can't Stay" from Ghetto Hymns (2000)


 

Hair Update

These past few months I haven't done too much with my hair. Here's a few memorable moments from January-August.

I straightened my hair for my birthday in March.

Flexi Rod Sets on straightened hair

 

Kinky Twists & Marley/Havana Twists 

 

Finger Coil Out (about 16-20 coils)

 

Crochet braids with Rast Afri Dream Romance Curl 

 

  

Andddd that's it :)

Eachhoureachsecondeachminuteeachday:Of My Life

Maxwell's "Eachhoureachsecondeachminuteeachday:Of My Life" from Embrya (1998)

 

 

 

Ummm, I had no idea he shot a video for this song. I'm glad I didn't...it's kinda creepy lmao. I still love him though.

Victory

Janelle Monáe's "Victory" from The Electric Lady (2013)

Lyrics:

[Verse 1:]

Today I feel so troubled deep inside

I wish the tears would roll back in my eyes

Will I rise?

Oh I'll keep singing songs until the pain goes

If loving you means fighting till the end

Then I'll fight harder baby just to win

And if tomorrow shall come to me

I'll count your every kiss as a victory

[Chorus:]

Cause to be victorious

You must find glory in the little things

To be victorious

You must find glory in the little things

[Verse 2:]

Surrounded by the schemes and senseless lives

And blaming others, feeling victimized

Oh tomorrow, one day they'll know

To win you'll have to lose all the things you know

Trying to light the fire deep inside

Father take all the fears and sorrow from my life

Cause when the rain falls

My seed will grow

I'll be further to my dreams tomorrow

[Chorus]

There's a greater love

In the little things (oh the little things)

[Chorus]

It's the little things, all the little things

You'll find a greater love in the little things

There's a greater love, love, love... 




I just love this...

Touch

Rochelle Jordan's "Touch" from P R E S S U R E (2012)

I love me some ROJO :)

Dear No One

Tori Kelly's "Dear No One" from Foreword (2013)

I've liked this song since I first heard it last year. Its like she was digging in my brain, took out all of my thoughts and wrote this song.
 
By the way…she is not far from my house in this video :)

Lyrics:

"Dear No One"

I like being independent
Not so much of an investment
No one to tell me what to do
I like being by myself
Don’t gotta entertain anybody else
No one to answer to

But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold
Someone to give me their jacket when its cold
Got that young love even when we’re old
Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand
Pick me up, pull me close, be my man
I will love you till the end

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you
But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone
Cause when the time is right
You’ll be here, but for now
Dear no one, this is your love song

I don’t really like big crowds
I tend to shut people out
I like my space, yeah
But I’d love to have a soul mate
God will give him to me someday
& I know it’ll be worth the wait

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you
But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone
Cause when the time is right
You’ll be here, but for now
Dear no one, this is your love song

But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold
Someone to give me their jacket when its cold
Got that young love even when we’re old
Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand
Pick me up, pull me close, be my man
I will love you till the end

So if you’re out there I swear to be good to you
But I’m done lookin’, for my future someone
Cause when the time is right
You’ll be here, but for now
Dear no one, this is your love song

Marley Hair Crochet Braids

I've seen sooooo many Marley hair videos and they always make me say, "oooooh" lol. I've been wanting to try it for a while. Eventually, I'll try it out. 

Out of all the videos I've seen, I've never seen this method for curling crochet braids. So cute!

Thirsty Thursday

Earlier this week I mentioned how in love I was with Raheem's newest mixtapes. Well, I neglected to mention the fact that King of Loveland 2 seemed to be devoted solely to sex. And you know what? I ain't mad at him lmao. Here's one of my faves:

Raheem DeVaughn's "Cum" from King of Loveland 2

There's no place but up. Well, down :)

A while ago I decided that I would not blog about my weight anymore. When I did write about it, my post would always be some depressing crap about how fat I am and how I needed to do more work to change it. Then I'd be motivated for like 2 weeks and fall off. I didn't want to write about it because it would be just another reminder of my failure. Well today I've decided to write about it as a marker. By this time next year, I will not still be this size. Maybe I won't hit my goal by then, which might be ok. But I will not be this size. Period.

Of course, I'm still cute lol. But I'm over feeling fat. So over it. I haven't decided on whether I'd be sharing my weightloss trials on this blog or not. We'll see. Either way, I'll be working on it. I don't have any other choice. I'm the heaviest I've EVER been. There's no place but up…well down in this instance lol.

Atlantic City

This past Saturday I went to Atlantic City for the first time. I had a good time with my sister. We strolled the boardwalk, ate some overpriced food and gambled a bit. I won $55! That's not a lot but for my first time gambling, I think I did pretty damn good lol. Plus, who doesn't like random money being put in their hand? lol

Oh yeah, I was cute :)

I wore dark lipstick for the first time, everrr lol



I also got a "personality reading," because I never had a reading before andddd it was $5. I figured it wouldn't hurt.

The psychic lady told me that I had a really good aura, I need to focus on my career and finance, I'll be traveling next year, I should be wary of someone from my past who's gonna pop up and that next year two men will fall in love with me.

First off, I think she was spot on! Secondly, two men falling in love with me??? Whaaaaa? Lol. No, but on a serious note, I totally agree about me needing to focus on my career goals and finances. I need to work hard to put myself in a better position and the time is now. Next month will make it a full year that I've been at my job. This was only supposed to be a temporary gig to hold me over while I searched for something better. Unfortunately, I got really comfortable and stopped looking for better. Well, my time is up. I need to move on. Also, I really liked what she said about my good aura. I actually agree. People tend to like me, most of the time I have no clue why lol. As far as the traveling part…I hope she's spot on. For the past two weeks or so, every time I see a plane, I'm wondering where it's going and why I'm not on it.

I've been feeling a subtle shift lately. Its mostly due to me trying to adjust the way I think. I'm trying to be more positive and proactive. I go through my ups and downs and my ups are usually short lived. But this time around, I think some things are gonna stick. I'm excited :)

Ohhh yeah, I also got my first henna tattoo! I couldn't find something I liked so I went with something classic, an Ankh on my right wrist. Lookie  :)




Overall, I had a really good day :)


 

Love (I want to love ya)

Earlier this year Raheem DeVaughn came out with two mixtapes - King of Lovelend and King of Loveland 2. I was late to download them, (shhh don't tell anybody) but once I did, had them on constant replay. I looove me some Raheem lol. I no longer stan for him like I once did but I always enjoy when he puts out his mixtapes. And this time around, I instantly fell in love with the last track. First of all, who is this chick singing??? I loooove every damn thing about her voice on this song. And secondly, who doesn't love a good Bob Marley sample?

Raheem DeVaughn's "Love (I want to love ya)" from King of Loveland 2 (2014)

No More Excuses

7.6.14

I've spent my entire life running from myself. I've had secret dreams and desires that I've kept to myself. Out of fear, out of uncertainty and due to a lack of confidence. Growing up, I wanted to sing and dance, act too. But I was too afraid to leave my comfort zone. I was too afraid of being vulnerable. So I never pursued any of those things. No one was encouraging me at home. There was nothing but apathy there. I always knew I was smart, I always knew I was special, but I never knew what I was capable of…if anything at all. There was never anything there for me to aspire to. I didn't have any dreams of doing anything spectacular or anything that would get me recognition. Everyone around me led mediocre lives, so I learned to just be mediocre too. Besides, if I were to sing, people would look at me, listen and pay attention…that was too much pressure. If I were to dance, people would watch intently and judge my movements. And if I were to act, I would be completely naked to the world. So I did none of those. I remained timid, I kept to myself and I decided that living my life in the shadows was better than trying to shine. I've always regretted not pushing myself. I always wanted more. I just didn't know how to get it.

When I went away to college, a lot of that changed. I became more outspoken, I let myself be known…through my writing. Writing was safe. I could spill my guts out onto the page and give the world a piece of me. The best part about that was that I could still be in the shadows. I mean, yeah they knew who was behind the words, but I didn't have to watch people read my words. I didn't have to be present for them to enjoy what I had to say. I released what I needed to onto the page and left it there for others to consume. It was perfect. Until I dropped my pen and decided not to pick it back up. So now all I do is let my mind wander. I write beautiful things in my head all the time. But I don't dare share these things. And why is that? Oh I know why, fear. My closest friend. I think its about time that I find a new friend. As a matter of fact, there's a few trifling heifers that I need to get rid of - fear, doubt, uncertainty, laziness and lack of self worth. I need to become acquainted with confidence, motivation, and plainly, self-love. Its clear to me that I don't love myself. I don't treat me any good. I'm not taking care of my body, my mind or my spirit. So what am I doing? Floating around, existing, completely unhappy but terrified of creating a different experience. It’s about time that I realize that my life can't go on like this. There's no need to wait till tomorrow or next week. Right now is all I have. Every moment is an opportunity to better myself and I have to take these chances. Because who said I'll be here tomorrow? I have to live for today. And I can't just say that I'm going to do better and keep doing the same ole bullshit five minutes later. I have to push myself. Because I do not want to look back on my life with any regrets. Plus, I'm too young to be feeling this old. I've made declarations like these in the past. And every time I've eased my way back into my same old habits. Not anymore.

I'm beautiful. I'm gifted. Most importantly, I'm capable. So no more excuses.
 

Hello There...

7.6.14

 

It's been quite a while right? I'm unsure if anyone has missed me but I know I definitely have missed this space. It's been extremely too long since I've picked up a pen and wrote something. Well, stroked some keys technically lol. So what's been going on with me? Quite a lot but nothing at all. How is that you say? Hmm, well I've been going through all types of emotions while staying stagnant in my life. I haven't had much growth in the past six months. I got a "promotion" at work, started a 6 month protective hair style challenge and I've managed to gain some weight and stay in a perpetual state of blah-ness. Sounds like fun right? I've been in a funk lately and I'm starting to wonder if I can remember the last time I didn't feel this way. So today I decided that I was going to take control over my life and try my hardest to keep the promises that I make to myself. One of those promises is to start writing again. Even if no one ever reads this, I still need to be able to express my thoughts. And I have plenty. So just as a warning, there may be some lengthy posts to follow...
 

Wash & Go with Beautiful Textures

I've had my eye on the Beautiful Textures natural hair care line since it first came out a couple of years ago. I finally decided to pick up a couple of things and give the line a try. So I purchased the Rapid Repair Deep Conditioner, Tangle Taming Leave In Conditioner, and the Curl Control Defining Pudding. I've recently decided to go back to my plan from months ago to do more wash and goes. I can probably count on one hand how many I've done and that's a bit sad because that means I rarely get to show my own curls.

My process for doing wash and goes is pretty damn simple. I washed my hair with my ultimate favorite shampoo, Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus Curl Control Shampoo, then I used the BT deep conditioner. I usually don't buy DCs because I'm perfectly fine making my own. This deep conditioner felt alright, nothing spectacular though. I'm used to my DCs having slip and this one didn't have enough for me. Next time I use it I'll probably add honey and olive oil to see if that helps. After rinsing out the DC I used the leave in, raking it through small sections. Then I raked in a bit of coconut oil, followed by the pudding. I was a bit worried because I liked the leave in and pudding but I wasn't convinced that I'd have a nice wash and go. Turns out, I was right.

Here's my hair with the product in it. I was a bit scared of how it would come out because I'm not used to seeing a product look white on my hair. And my curls didn't look as happy as they could've.

Here's my hair dry the next day. I wasn't impressed. Yeah my hair was kinda soft and it had a little shine to it but as far as definition goes? My curls weren't popping like I knew they could. My hair looked kinda...wiry? Yeah, idk...

 Kinda blurry...sorry lol

That night I decided a twistout would solve all my problems lol. So I dampened my hair and added more of the pudding. I ended up with maybe 20-30 twists...way more than I thought I'd do lol. I pinned them down like Naptural85/MahoganyKnots to give me a bit more length. The next day I took down my twists and I was sooo in love! :)

This twistout lasted 4 days. Yeah, 4 days of no re-moisturizing or re-twisting! That's something very beautiful lol. 

I've decided not to give up on the pudding for a wash and go because it might come out great with some gel. I'll give it another try. As far as twistouts go? I've found a great product. Can't wait to try it on a braidout next! :)