March 15, 2011

Fed Up

I'm not gonna politely ask for shit. Now I'm just taking. I'm not gonna sit around waiting for shit to happen to me. I have to make shit happen myself. I can't go on being the backseat driver anymore. Its tiring, lonely and boring. I need to take the fucking keys and take control of the wheel. I can't sit around complaining about how unhappy I am anymore. Its up to me to make a change. If I want things different, waiting on other motherfuckers wont help shit. And sadly, that's how I've been living my life for as long as I could remember. I live off of reactions. Something happens, I deal with it and adjust. But when it comes to creating my own situations, I fail miserably. I need to stop being such a punk and take risks. Yeah I might fuck up or the outcome might not be what I expected but so what? That's a part of life. I walk around living this way, letting my fears rule and control me. That's no way to live.

Lately I've been thinking about the way I operate and why I do certain things and what I realized angered me. I deal with whatever hand I'm dealt and I never take the role of the dealer. There are so many things about me that I would like to improve but most of the time I'm too scared to try. Wtf is that? That's not living. At all. I just can't do this shit anymore. It won't be an overnight occurrence but shit it needs to start happening soon.

As corny as this song selection might seem, it is EXACTLY how I feel. Plus, look at her gorgeous ass hair :)

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