March 14, 2011


Sometimes I wish I was weak so that I could give in to these temptations that pop up. Yeah I know its good to say no, especially when everything is telling me that is the right choice. But a little part of me wants to say yes. I want to allow this man to have his way with me. I want to actually enjoy the company of someone who wants to do the same. But it can't happen. Not with him, not now. But it feels good to be wanted. Luckily I'm not weak and I wont give in, but damn wouldn't it be good if I did? Only temporarily of course. It would only last for a little while then I will go right back to feeling alone. Being alone. I know better than to give in to my desires, I'll hold on to them for now. Its unrealistic to think anything good could come out of it. So I'll just avoid it, as usual. I'll just stay feeling this way.

December 2010

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