January 19, 2010

Mean Angry Bitch...Who Me???

It's 4 AM and I can't sleep. Other than the fact that my sleeping patterns have been messed up because of vacation, I just can't sleep. My mind is racing....I can't stop thinking. So I decided to write, hopefully it'll help.

I feel like I'm in constant search of self, which can be both good and bad simultaneously. It's good because learning about yourself leads to growth; its bad because I don't like some of the things I'm discovering. But the negative can turn into a positive because if I see what I don't like, I can change it.

Recently I've been told numerous times that I'm either mean, angry, a bitch or a combination of all three. I can't really get mad at these statements, I understand why they were said. What upsets me is that if that's all that people see, then they're not getting the real me. Of course I have bitch moments but I don't think that makes me a bitch :-/. Maybe I just come off too hard. My usual response to that is, "if you can't handle being around me then maybe you shouldn't bother." But I'm starting to think I'll just end up alone because who wants to tolerate a mean, angry bitch? I know I wouldn't want to, so why should I expect others to? Hopefully my other qualities outweigh my occasional bitch moments. Maybe what I need to be doing is figuring out why it is I act this way....

1 comment:

Krystal said...

ur not a mean angry bitch :-) we all have bitch moments, that's nothing. but if it;s really bothering you that much then maybe you should reevaluate how u act with people, just dont lose urself in the process