November 11, 2009
Just Running Cross My Mind
Why is this guy on my mind? I just don't get it. "My First Love" by Avant ft. Keke Wyatt is playing right now and somehow its making me smile. The relationship I had with my first love ended on what you could call bad terms and so I try my hardest to deny the fact that I actually once loved him and enjoyed being with him. After we went our separate ways I tend to only talk about the negative things regarding him but lately that has become more and more difficult. I find myself wondering how he's doing, how his family is, if he's alright. Then there's a part of me that's like eww why am I thinking about this person - I'm sure hes not thinking about me. And yet I can't help but wonder if he even thinks about me anymore. Do I cross his mind? Maybe...probably not. He's probably moved on to the next chick without even wondering if I'm alive and breathing. But why should he care? He made it obvious he would never care for me the way I wanted him to so why should I be thinking about this? Maybe it's cuz I'm lonely and in need of male attention. He is the only guy I've been with so I guess it's natural for me to think about him because he is the only man in my past.