Vulnerability doesn't look well on me...

I hate letting people know I care about them. Its a serious issue I have and in a way, hindering to the possible development of future relationships. I don't like to let people know I care or show any signs that they might be important to me. I know, it sounds fucked up right? I don't know how I've gotten here...well maybe I do. If I don't let you know I care, I'm not putting myself out there in a vulnerable position. And I HATE being or seeming to be vulnerable. Its a serious problem of mine. I don't wanna be a clingy person...that's annoying. But its gotten to a point where I don't even like texting people to say hi or ask them about their day. Cuz if I do that, then they know I was thinking about them and that I might actually care. Twisted right? This could possibly hinder me in the future in case a guy is actually interested in me but doesn't feel like its being reciprocated. But then again, if I'm the only one trying to contact you then I feel like you're not interested and I move on. Why keep pursuing someone that doesn't want you? Waste of time, energy and fuck it, self esteem. I can't get with it.