It's About Damn Time

12.7.15

I haven't blogged in a while because I have nothing to show for my hiatus. I'm still at a job I hate, I haven't lost any weight and I'm still in the same place I was in months ago. Well, actually, that's not true. I can definitely say that I don't have a dark cloud over my head.

I've been saying I wanted to leave my job for the entire time that I've worked there. 2 months ago, I wrote my resignation letter. Right as I was about to turn it in, I was convinced to stay. I know that quitting without a backup is not smart. But I figured I'd take being broke over mentally drained from working there.

I don't want to be negative. I don't want to dwell on what I haven't accomplished. I just wanna move forward. So I'm getting it out of my system right now. No, I'm still not where I want to be. But that's a good thing. Because there's still no where but up. I'm soooo tired of this shit. If I go back and read something I wrote 5 years ago, I'd bet any amount of money that it's the same shit now. I'm done with that. I've said that before. But it's different this time. My mental, physical and emotional well-being is dependent on it.

I don't normally like to do New Year's resolutions. I think that any day is a chance for a fresh start. But seeing as though it is December, it makes sense to frame my goals around a new year beginning. I've mapped out goals before, plenty of times. But I know this isn't just talk.


Goals for next year:
- lose a substantial amount of weight. I know that I want to lose at least 100 lbs and up to 130 but I don't wanna put the pressure on to do that all in one year.
- work out on a regular basis
- continue to incorporate more fruits/vegetables into my diet
- find a new job. Or find a way to replace my income so I can quit my job
- pay off credit card debt
- start singing again
- write on a consistent basis. This includes finishing the book I started last year
- be more social. This includes dating
- create a morning routine
- read more

I need to have guidelines and ways to hold myself accountable. If not, this is just another list of things I won't do. I have to learn to commit to myself and lead a more productive life. I just can't waste any more time.