I need to get back on track

I was looking through my unpublished posts and I came across this one from 12.4.12. I wonder why I never posted it...maybe I felt it was redundant? Oh well, here it is...



I've wanted to get a handle on what I eat for a long time. I know that I need to improve how and what I eat in addition to becoming more active. When I talk about wanting to lose weight, it is not just for aesthetic reasons. While I do want to look better, the real reason is because I need to feel better. I am 22 years old. I should not be getting winded easily or getting sore after barely being active. That's just not cool. I know that I've mentioned this mannyyyy times. But it's an issue that I haven't brought up in a while. And it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.

Here's a picture of me after my cousin's wedding in 2008:

Four years and forty pounds ago. I couldn't squeeze into that dress if my life depended on it. SMH. I was looking at this picture the other day wondering how I got to my current size and trying to figure out a way to get and stay motivated to lose the weight that I want to.

• I need to get up off my ass and get moving! I can talk about losing weight all damn day, but if I don't add any action into it, it is completely pointless! I need to suck it up and get busy. Soon!
• My diet is not anywhere near what I would like it to be. I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables and most days I feel heavy and unsatisfied after I've eaten. Right now I can't buy the food I'd like to so I feel a bit limited. I also struggle with my portions. 
• I need a support system. Maybe I should join an online weight loss community or try to find people that want to achieve similar goals as me. Sometimes it's hard to stay on track when other people in my house aren't on board with changes. It's also hard for me to discuss weight/weight loss with my friends because they don't see what I see plus they have no idea about how it feels to be my size. If I have to hear the, "Oh Shatera you aren't fat" BS one more time, I just might go off. Next time, I'm just gonna say, "Yeah you're right. Technically I'm not fat, I'm obese." Which is the truth. Sugarcoating shit and telling me I'm not fat might make you feel better but it damn sure isn't helping me. Anyway, back to my point - I need a support system...and one that works. 

I know for a fact that I am not taking care of myself. I need to be better at feeding more than just my body. All aspects of my life are lacking. My energy, my spirit and my mind are all being neglected. ....