Just like the birds that whistle in the trees...

It's Whatever - Aaliyah



Doesn't this song just feel good?

While I listen to it I close my eyes and can escape to another place. Somewhere far away where I'm wanted, desired, maybe even needed, just a little bit...

Sometimes I wish I could feel this way...

Lost and Found

Ever hear a song and you feel like it was written just for you? I love that feeling. When I first heard this song last semester I couldn't function. I had to stop. All I was capable of doing was listening. I quickly learned the words in anticipation of singing it at Niabinji (A Night of Creative Expression). But of course, me being a punk, it didn't happen. I had hoped by the end of the spring semester the way I felt would not be the same. Oh well, guess not :-/



Lost And Found - Ledisi



Here are the lyrics:

Always alone, someone come for me
Here on my own, feels like the pain lasts an eternity
Tears come no more, I wanna smile again, love again

Please someone find me

Souls pass me by, why can’t they see me here?
Touch me one time, just like magic I will reappear
Sadness like the rain, its showers over me, I wanna feel again

Please someone find me

Lost not yet found
Breathing in misery
Hope lurks around
When will the sun ever shine on me?
I need love to come and carry me, take me away

Please someone find me

I’ll sing my song
Maybe I’ll scream and shout
Please someone come, I don’t wanna live without love
Hear my plea, I have love to give, I wanna live

Please someone find me

Need You Now

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now



I'm not a huge country music fan but there is something about this song that moves me. I heard it a couple of weeks ago in a store while I was shopping in Brooklyn and it actually made me pause. I had to stop what I was doing and listen. There are not too many songs that do that to me the very first time I hear them. Maybe its the lyrics, the music, the emotion behind how they sing or a combination of all three. Whatever it is, I definitely feel it.

Ephemeral

Here's one of my poems that's gonna be in the next issue of the Fahari-Libertad Magazine
Felt the need to share :-D

Ephemeral

Am I a fool for allowing you to occupy my space?
Am I blind to the fact that you can never give me
What I want? What I need?
I allowed you to use me…and I knew what it was when it went down
So what do I gain from this?
Temporary, fleeting…only for a few hours type of pleasure
Nothing real
It doesn’t last
Only a few moments in time
So why do I do it?
I can only go so long without a hug, a kiss, an embrace
Reassurance that I’m alive and capable of feeling
Without this reminder, where am I?
Alone again
Without someone to hold me
So either way I lose
I’m alone with you…alone without you

Release Me...

These tears
Where did they come from?
I was fine just a moment ago
Startled
Maybe I didn't realize
I can feel too
Its ok to feel

Wetness
When did you appear?
I hadn't noticed
I was alive
Capable of feeling
Where are my feelings?
Hidden
Buried
Somewhere obscure
Where no one can find them
Not even me

Why am I crying?
I guess that means I'm here...

Temporary...

It feels so good to let you in
But it wont last long
Its only pieces of me that you want, not all of me
What shall we do about that?
I guess I'll enjoy it for now
Take what I can get while it lasts...

Fragile

Sometimes I'm scared of writing. Its hard to admit to my feelings. If they're put on paper then they become real...


I put up walls cuz I don't want you to see how fragile I am without them...
You won't ever get in, unless I allow it.
But I'm too scared.
What if it feels good?
What if I like it?
Then what?
Where is my control then?
I can't lose it...

I need to know if you can give me what I want
If I can trust you with my heart
I'm not the superwoman I pretend to be...I'm fragile
If I give you my heart you have to take care of it
I can't handle another let down...
Please don't waste my time



Fragile By Raheem DeVaughn ft. Malik Yusef

I LIED

Ok, so I can't keep from blogging...especially right now when I feel like I have 89370482364 things going WRONG in my life.

I've been having health issues stressing me out, issues at home stressing me out, and schoolwork that I just don't feel like doing. What the hell??? I don't quite know whats going on with me but I'm not liking it at all. I've been feeling like I need an escape. I don't wanna be home, but I don't wanna be here at school...I'm just all confused. A part of me wants to run down the street screaming, while another part of me just wants to curl up into a little ball and say fuck everything. The reality is that I can't do either....both would be a waste of time and energy and neither would get me anywhere.

But on another note, here's this Solange song that I have had stuck in my head for weeks. I fucking love this woman lmao.

Under Construction - Solange




Right now I'm feeling under construction. I don't quite know where I'm going or how I'm getting there but my destination better be worth this journey. Wait, there's no hoping...it will be worth this journey.