Single Life

So the other day there was a trending topic on Twitter that looked something like #whyblackwomenaresingle #reasonsblackgirlsaresingle #blackwomenaresingle or something like that...can't quite remember. But anyway it sparked something in me because there were many negative things said about Black women that rubbed me the wrong way.Then I starting thinking, why should I be offended if these comments don't even apply to me? Which they don't.

I know why I'm single.

I'm single because my exterior doesn't match my interior
they see my physical features and don't dig any deeper

I guess my 5ft9 thick and shapely frame is too much for you.
I guess its because I can hold an intelligent conversation, make you laugh and think.
I guess its my gentle soothing touch that can ignite you from within.
I guess its because I can arouse you without even touching you.

It's because you're intimidated by my education and ambitions for obtaining more.
It's because I'm not easy, I create a challenge and I'm worth the wait.
It's because she gave it up but I didn't.
It's because you don't like women with substance.
It's because you feel inadequate compared to me.

Why are you so damn afraid?
Come out of hiding

I Wasted My Vagina On You, Yes You

I've been debating for a while whether or not I wanted to write this post but I figured...ehh why the hell not? Its been on my brain so why not write about it.

I know I was never important to you. I was nothing more than a lay. But I don't give myself away that easily. So why did I with you? Simple. I was lonely, you were there. You were slightly interested...that was enough. But that should never be enough. I'm worth more than a slight curiosity and interest. I'm more than just some chick that let you creep up inside of her. I'm more than that. So how did this happen? Simple. I felt alone. Those brief moments with you gave me comfort...temporarily. That's all they were good for and were barely good for that. What makes it worse is that I didn't desire you and I knew you didn't desire me. Your performance was lacking, barely there, nonexistent. A waste of time and a waste of my body. Damn, I wasted my vagina on you...yes you.

I should've known better.
I didn't.
I will know better.
I do.
The next person I share my body with will be worth it.

So now I feel stupid. I knew you thought I was young and naive. But I was neither of those. My age and {lack of} experience has nothing to do with it. I allowed myself to be tricked into thinking it was ok. But it wasn't.

This post is a combination of my feelings about an experience and different women. Women (and men) all have experiences that they wish never happened or they feel could've been prevented. But it happened anyway and now there's regret. For me, there is no regret...just a lesson learned.

So Here's Nothing...

I recently got a complaint that I don't blog enough. So I sat and thought, and thought, then thought some more. I couldn't think of anything to write about. And that's when I realized I'm an emotional writer. I can't just randomly write something without an emotion being tied to it. Which is why I have difficulty writing about topics that I don't care about. Also, I don't see the need in writing a blog every single day. Not that much interesting shit happens to me lol. Plus, I like to write about how I feel, not the things I do. Sooo for who's complaining about me not writing...here's your blog about nothing lol.