Alone

I've been MIA lately. Please forgive me. There's been a lot of things going on in my life recently and it has become difficult for me to write. It's not because I don't have anything to say. It's mostly due to a lack of motivation combined with my sadness. In the past few months my family has really been through it. First, my uncle passed away, then 3 months later, my aunt/his sister passed away also. That is A LOT in a short time period. So my emotions have been all over the place. I'm sad, then I'm angry, then I'm extra sensitive and irritable, its goes in cycles. But these past few days, I've just been feeling...alone. Some days I find it hard to believe that anyone actually gives a shit about me and that makes me feel extremely sad and lonely. I want to say that it is all in my head, but other than my sister, I'm unsure of who I really can depend on. I know that I don't reach out to people as much as I should, I take responsibility for that. That is something that I definitely need to work on. But it still doesn't take away from how I've been feeling. I didn't want to write a drawn out, depressing ass post. But how I feel is how I feel. And I NEED to get this out. After having a really shitty day today, I came home and decided to, of all things, sing lol.

Soooo here's a video of me singing Maxwell's "Lonely's The Only Company" from Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite (1996)