Braidout and Big Ass Hair

After my bantu knot-out I wanted something bigger and less curly. So I did about 19 medium sized braids and this was the outcome the next day:

I was sooo in love with how soft and fluffy my hair was. Since it was on blow dried hair, I was afraid that the definition wouldn't last all day. It actually held up pretty good though. When I got home I was kinda bored so I decided to play in my hair. I finger combed it and boy did it get BIG!

I love how disrespectfully big it got. Man I was in love lol. I have a problem though. I need to find a new protective style because I need to keep my hands out of my hair plus I kinda don't want to be bothered right now. I'll figure something out.

Optimistic

"Optimistic" by Sounds of Blackness from their 1991 The Evolution of Gospel album

Coil Out

This post is from before my last set of crochets. I just never posted it. Whoops lol


I have been toying with the idea of doing finger coils lately and I finally decided to just do it. I was unsure because the last time that I did coils, the detangling process at the end was torture. Ok, it wasn't that bad...just annoyingly tedious. I used my free jars of Curls Unleashed Curl Defining Creme and Curl Boosting Jelly. To avoid puffy roots, I decided to start off with a braid and coil the ends. I ended up with way more coils than expected, maybe about 40 or so. Next time I will do less because the larger ones actually came out better than the small ones. Here's the outcome:

I wore my hair like this for about a week. I enjoyed the look and low maintenance of it but after taking it down, my ends weren't too happy with me. I guess this isn't a style I can do often, or at all. Who knows with me though, I stay breaking my own damn rules smh.

Rollerset and Blowout

Last Thursday I took out my last set of Crochet Braids and I was sooo excited that I could wash and play with my hair. I missed my hair. A lot. On Friday I washed my hair, did a roller set and sat under the dryer for about 45 minutes. OMG I am SO happy that my sister bought a hooded dryer. It made the roller set process so much easier. When I took down my hair, I dusted my ends because they were looking quite raggedy. I did a coil out before the crochets and that resulted in a bajillion single strand knots :(. Anyway, I had my Tracee Ellis Ross look going on and it was super cute. I didn't take any pics though smh. That night I did pin curls to try to keep the style. When I woke up the next morning and took out a couple of curls, I noticed that I suck at pin curls...like really suck smh. My hair had a curl, a very wonky weird looking curl lol. So I decided to blow dry my hair to see how straight it would get. My hair is pretty thin, staring at it too long gets it straight lmao. So it got pretty straight but the ends lost all the curls. So I did temporary pin curls without pinning them to my head. Here's the outcome:

I was definitely feeling myself a bit lol. After doing some running around, my curls had dropped so I decided to do bantu knots. I had intended on doing about 5 to give my hair a nice wave. I ended up doing 9 so of course, it came out curlier than I wanted. Here's the look:

I know that I broke my no heat rule for my 6 Month Challenge but I'm sure that the little bit of heat that I used won't be too detrimental to my progress. Speaking of progress, I didn't do an official length check but I did notice some growth. However, I'm doubtful that I will reach my length goal. And you know what? I'm ok with that. Halfway through I thought it might be unobtainable but I kinda didn't care. While sometimes I do get pissed off that my hair isn't longer, I know that I have to get over it. Length isn't everything.

I'm going to try to keep my hair stretched like this for two weeks before I wash it and figure out my next move. Updates soon :)

Twistout on Blow Dried Hair

Isn't her hair just so damn gorgeous? I love watching her videos just so I could drool over how beautiful her hair is. You can check out the rest of her videos here.

Crochet Braids Update

It's been three weeks with my crochet braids and they have ran their course. While they still look ok, I miss my hair and I'm kinda bored with this hair. I really like Freetress Appeal and plan on using it again, probably only 3 packs next time though. I don't need the diva look again lol. While I had the hair in, I only wore it three ways. Either it was out, slightly pulled back or up in a bun thingy.

I enjoyed the look but its time for my hair to come back out. Although I considered doing a flat twist updo, I think I'm going to put my sister's new hooded dryer to use and do a rollerset. Let's see :)

Gather Together in My Name

I've decided to do a rollerset because that would give me a chance to sit under the dryer and start a book. Yes, I'm finally gonna start a book smh. A while back one of my professors gave me Maya Angelou's Gather Together in My Name. I figured it would be a good start to my weekly reading. When I was in high school I read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. I don't really remember the details of the book but I do remember liking her style of writing, so this should be good :)

Reflections

The last blog I wrote was so depressing and after posting it I realized that I sounded so sad and lost. My life sucks because I'm allowing it to. I have the power to change my circumstances. That's not going to change over night but in the meantime, I can work on my mind. I don't have to mope around the house sad and depressed just because I don't have somewhere to be everyday. I can find a more productive way to fill up my day. Plain and simple. Why let my life pass me by just because things aren't going my way? I really cannot allow myself to get back in the funk I've been in this past week. It's over. I just can't do it anymore.

Conversations

Them - Hey Shatera, how you doing?

What I say - I'm alright.

What I'm thinking - I feel like shit. Most days I either wanna run down the street screaming or bang my head up against the wall.

Them - How's the job search going?

What I say - Pretty unsuccessful. Hopefully I'll find something soon.

What I'm thinking - Not too well because I'm still fucking unemployed.

Of course it would be rude for me to respond that way. Sometimes I get tired of having the same old conversation over and over. I don't have a job. I'd like to. I'm unhappy right now. Case closed. What the hell else do you want me to say?

I've gotten to a place where I avoid situations where I have to talk about my life. I don't want to have small talk, I don't want to meet any new people and I barely want to talk to my family and friends. Pathetic right? Ehh, whatever. It's how I feel.

I know that I could find something positive in my life. Not having a job isn't the end of the world, it just makes me feel like I waste my time floating around purposeless. I don't like it. I hate having to depend on other people for every damn thing. You know what, complaining gets me no where so I'm gonna cut this short. I need a fucking job. I hope that I get something soon. Real soon...

Will I?

Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?



This is my favorite song from Rent. Exactly how I've been feeling lately...