More Goals...

Lately all I've been talking about is my hair. So I thought I would write about something else for a change. Then I drew a blank. Exactly what can I talk about? Feeling inadequate because I don't have an income. Feeling trapped inside of a body that I don't even recognize anymore. Feeling too scared to make the necessary changes that I am certain need to be made. Feeling alone. Misunderstood. Confused.

I've neglected to talk about anything other than my hair for the past 5 months because I didn't want to have to face it. I didn't want anyone to know what was going on with me. I don't go out. I don't reach out to my friends. I don't interact with the outside world much, if at all.

I didn't have a set plan for after graduation. I knew that it would take time for me to find a job and get in the swing of things. But damn. I feel stuck. I've made no progress in any area of my life. WTF?

I can't let my life pass me by like this. I'm wasting away. On a daily basis I'm just sitting here, wasting away.


I need to take control of my life. My finances. My social life. My health. My well-being. Because right now, I'm feeling broken. And the only way for me to be fixed is for me to take accountability for allowing myself into this situation. The next step is action. Sitting around talking about what's wrong with my life doesn't fix shit. It just doesn't.

Game Plan

1. Get a fucking job. Somewhere. I absolutely loathe the idea of having a retail job. I always have. No, it's not because I feel like I'm above that kind of job. I just know that it's not for me. However, I'm broke as shit. I've been out of school for 5 months. I need some kind of income. I'm just gonna have to suck it up and get a random job while I'm still looking. 

2. Get control of my health. I need to lose weight for my health and to feel better in my skin. I must have said this a million times. But its so damn true. And it's more than just my weight. I feel unhealthy. I just don't feel good...ever smh.

3. Start writing again. I haven't written anything in a long time. Longggggg time smh. This just isn't cool.

4. Pick up a fucking book. I always joke and say that college took away my joy of reading. But that's bullshit. If I can get my hands on a good book, I'd be happy as hell. It would also be a nice way to escape from my own damn mind for a while. 

5. Sing. Just because it feels good. Who cares if I sound good if I'm doing it for me? I shouldn't be scared to sing in private smh.

6. Stop being a recluse. I barely ever leave my house. Usually during the summer or during a break I'll end up sitting in the house all the time. ....I'm not on a break. There is no busy life to go back to at New Paltz. I need to have a life here. And now. Right fucking now.



How many times have I written a list like this? Who knows. All I know is that shit needs to change. Seriously.

Hair Health Goals

I now know that my hair needs extra love and care because of just how fragile it is. When I don't treat my hair well, it shows. In 2011, I lost a lot of inches from neglect. I also had a lot of breakage due to a horrible experience with weave that I'll come back and talk about later. Anyway, here's a couple of things I look forward to:

Achieving Bra Strap Length by May 2013
Doing more protective styles
Trying new products
Trying new styles (flexi-rod set, flat twist updos, pin up styles, etc.) 


Hair is definitely not my only focus right now. There are so many other things that I can be focused on other than my hair. And I'm fully aware of that. Part II coming soon...

Be Happy

 Mary J. Blige's "Be Happy" from My Life (1994)



Sometimes I feel like I'll never get what I want out of life. Then I realize it's completely up to me.

Three Strand Twistout

I said that I was going to try straw curls on my straight crochets but I kinda lost interest in the hair. So after 2 weeks of being tucked away, my hair is out and free. I just missed it too much. 

Over the past couple of weeks I have seen a few bloggers talk about 3 strand twist outs. I first read about it on AfroniquelyYou, then on Hairscapades. So after I took out my crochet braids, I decided that I would try it out. After watching this tutorial, I practiced and I was surprised at how easy it was and how quick I picked it up. I did about 25 twists using Cantu Shea Butter Creamy Hair Lotion, castor oil, and my pink EcoStyler gel. I kept my hair in twists for two days then I took them down to these results:

As usual with twistouts, there was shrinkage, but the definition was worth it. I honestly don't see a major difference between two strand twists and three strand twists. The outcome was basically the same. The only difference was that my curls had a bit of wave to them instead of perfect cylinders. I'm not all that into twistouts anymore but I would definitely try it again, especially since it was so damn simple.

Straight Crochet Braids - Bantu Knot Out

Out of boredom, one night I started doing bantu knots in the back of my head. It was tedious as hell because I couldn't do them too big or they would unravel. So I only ended up doing the back of my head and went to bed. A day later, I took one down to see how it would look. Since it was cute, I decided to continue. I only ended up doing half of the front of my head before I gave up. Then the next night, I finally finished my head. Somehow I managed to drag it out for four days lol. This morning I unraveled my hair and I was pleased to see a nice wave/curl pattern :)

I'm really liking this look. Plus I feel more like myself with curly hair :)

Straight Crochet Braids - Braidout

I tried a braidout again, but with smaller braids. So the definition was better. But this hair still hasn't grown on me...

Hair Length Goal

The picture on the left is from my blowout in September. The picture on the right is from my straight crochets and represents the hair goal that I would like to reach by May 2013. Seems reasonable, right? We'll see...

Crochet Braids Pt. 6: Straight Hair

Yes, you read that correctly - straight hair.

It's been about eight months since the last time I decided to get crochets and this time I decided to switch it up a bit. I've been thinking about doing it with straight hair for a while now but I wasn't sure if it was something I really wanted to do. Since I don't feel like having to deal with my hair right now, I felt like crochets would be my best bet. I know that the last time I did crochets, it was such an epic fail that I swore off any hair that wasn't tightly curled. Well, I lied lol. Lately I've been thinking about wearing a short bob and you know I refuse to cut or straighten my own hair.  So a straight crochet install it is.

I will admit that I was skeptical when I first saw that people were using kanekalon hair for crochets. But after stalking some YouTube videos, I decided it wouldn't be that bad. Here's a tutorial:



The idea of using cheap 3 for $5 braiding hair probably sounds crazy as hell but I don't see anything wrong with it. It's economical and the texture is similar to my blow dried hair. Plus, after a quick blow dry, the hair feels and looks pretty damn presentable.

My sister already had one pack in the house so we just cut that pack in quarters and she went to work. I was going for a short look but what we ended up with just was not cute. NOT CUTE! So we took it out, I ran to the store to get more hair and we started all over.

Finished product:

After the blowout:

 
Comparison pic:

I think it came out pretty decent but I haven't had straight hair in so long that it just feels awkward. Also, after the blowout the hair looked extra straight and shiny, which I don't like all that much. So I decided to braid it to give it a bit more texture.

Braidout:

It came out alright but it still looks shiny as hell. Since I'm not used to straight hair, I think I just might do a straw set to get a more curly look. Updates soon :)

Twistout Revisited

After having that gel in my hair for a few days, I knew it was time for something else. So I washed and conditioned my hair then sat on my bed for about 5 minutes. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my hair. I know I said that I was done with twistouts, but out of boredom, I decided to twist my hair. So I picked up my free sample packet of Miss Jessie's Curly Pudding and ended up with 20 something twists. The next day I took down my twists and was reminded of why I used to love twistouts so much. The definition was great. It looked and felt nice. It also looked short as hell. Like, ridiculously short. But cute lol.