well, hello there...

It's been a while, I know. For the past four months, I've been neglecting this blog. I didn't want to write. I just kept thinking, who would read it? Who would care? Am I even interesting? Am I just going through the motions with this thing? Well, today I've come to realize that the answers to those questions do not matter. And why not? I need to write. It is a part of me that I have been neglecting. And that may be a part of the reason that I feel so lost. I haven't been my best lately. So I figured why even write anything? Who cares about my troubles? Well, even if no one else cares, I should. So I decided not to give up on this blog. I will make an effort to write down my thoughts and feelings, publicly. More for me than anyone else. Because I need it. I do. I need this.

Crochet Braids - Marley Hair Twistout

When I took out my Marley/Senegalese twists back in June, I looked at the hair and decided that I would keep it and recycle it to use for crochet braids. I got this idea from VeePeeJay after coming across this photo a while back:

Cute right?

So I figured re-using my hair made sense. It would be a quick install and cute style. And I was right. It took me less than 3 hours from start to finish. It took me a few days to get used to it, but it has definitely grown on me.

It's definitely a different look for me, but I like it! :)

Don't Say No, Just Say Yes

Avant's "Don't Say No, Just Say Yes" from Ecstasy (2002)

Destination

10.10.14

When you know you have a purpose in life, 

but you constantly ignore it.

When you feel completely unfulfilled and empty.

Like you're floating around, purposeless.

When you wake up every morning wondering,

when will I get the chance to LIVE?

When you arrive at work and realize that you don't belong,

you will NEVER belong, but you must stay for a paycheck.

When you go to bed every night feeling lonely, sad and unused

You're empty. Nothing pouring into you, nothing coming out of you.

So why are you here?

You know why. You have to know right?

That’s what everyone tells you.

You're a writer. You're creative.

You know that this is true.

So what do you do about it?

Stay miserable and unfed?

When you know you can do something greater, much greater than this.

When you know that you can be fed, poured into, filled up…if you leave.

The only thing is, to where?

Time to find a destination.

Bad Girls

 Solange's "Bad Girls (Verdine Version)" from True (2012)



I love me some Solange :)

Braid & Curl

I've never seen a braid & curl done like this. So cute!



I've got to try this :)

We Gon' Love Tonite...Again lol

Calvin Richardson's "We Gon' Love Tonite" from I Am Calvin (2014)




Mmmm yes :)

All About You

Yes. Hilary Duff. Just Yes.

I'm excited about her having new music and I just loveeeee grownup Hilary! :)

"All About You" (2014)

I Fell In Love!

I FINALLY had theeeee best wash & go everrrr!!!! Feel the excitement??? lmao

I used As I Am Leave In & Curling Jelly with some coconut castor oil. I went to bed with wet hair and when I woke up it was still damp. Like the video I posted, I used a blow dryer on low to dry and stretch out my hair. Here's the pics:

1/4 of the way through I KNEW it was gonna be great! :)

Day 1 :)

Look at those curls!

Day 3 hair is always the best :)

I finally figured out my wash & go. Yay!

Alone

I've been MIA lately. Please forgive me. There's been a lot of things going on in my life recently and it has become difficult for me to write. It's not because I don't have anything to say. It's mostly due to a lack of motivation combined with my sadness. In the past few months my family has really been through it. First, my uncle passed away, then 3 months later, my aunt/his sister passed away also. That is A LOT in a short time period. So my emotions have been all over the place. I'm sad, then I'm angry, then I'm extra sensitive and irritable, its goes in cycles. But these past few days, I've just been feeling...alone. Some days I find it hard to believe that anyone actually gives a shit about me and that makes me feel extremely sad and lonely. I want to say that it is all in my head, but other than my sister, I'm unsure of who I really can depend on. I know that I don't reach out to people as much as I should, I take responsibility for that. That is something that I definitely need to work on. But it still doesn't take away from how I've been feeling. I didn't want to write a drawn out, depressing ass post. But how I feel is how I feel. And I NEED to get this out. After having a really shitty day today, I came home and decided to, of all things, sing lol.

Soooo here's a video of me singing Maxwell's "Lonely's The Only Company" from Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite (1996)